Charles Phillips is handsome, successful, and a good singer - not great on harmony, but his voice is well trained and pleasant. I know this because I just listened to a recording of him singing karaoke with his mistress on her revenge website. Apparently Charles decided to reconcile with his wife, and the mistress is pissed. The kind of pissed that makes you spend $250,000 on some really awesome billboards.
The billboards show Charles and YaVaughnie in happier times. At the top is the heading, "You are my soulmate forever - cep." I'm sure that YaVaughnie created those billboards for many reasons - she felt hurt, abandoned, angry, jealous. She was also protesting the lies -- the lies that Charles told her, his wife, and the world -- and she wanted to tell her side of the story. On some level she was standing up for the truth.
The truth needs all the help it can get. Granted, the "truth" needs context to tell a complete story. I have no idea if YaVaughnie is the hero or the villain in this scenario. Also, the truth isn't always the best choice; sometimes there are good reasons to lie -- Lord knows I do from time to time, despite best efforts to the contrary. Still, I get weary from trudging through the steady stream of bullshit that I see in the news, at work, and even in my plain old life.
I'm extra fired up about this after having dinner with a dear friend who was dating someone living abroad. In October he asked her on an exotic vacation. In December he said they'd have to postpone the vacation since he was probably returning home in early 2010 - yeah! She asked him last week if he wanted to see a show later this month, and he fessed up that he'd decided on his own to extend his tour until September. No vacation, no reunion. Just a schmuck.
Unfortunately, this behavior -- call it a lack of integrity, misrepresentation, or just liar, liar, pants on fire -- feels like the rule, rather than the exception.
I've already spent enough time on the subject of John Edwards, but his story brings dishonesty to dizzying new heights. Apparently (read this fascinating article in New York Magazine,) John Edwards' image was so well-spun that he began to believe it himself, and his staffers put their professional and personal lives at risk in order to conceal his philandering. Elizabeth Edwards' public persona was also fiction. Even accounting for the horrific tragedies she has lived through, she sounds like a mean-spirited, imperious piece of work.
Admittedly, I'm setting aside other questions of morality to make a point, but as I watched an interview with one of Tiger Woods' mistresses, I was surprised to feel sorry for her. A single mom, she admitted to making a mistake, and said although she had ended the affair years ago Tiger had continued to pursue her with sob stories about how trapped he felt in his marriage. She had no idea she was one of a baker's dozen of women consoling the golf legend. Now she's got a seven-year old son who has to answer for her mistakes.
I've already spent enough time on the subject of John Edwards, but his story brings dishonesty to dizzying new heights. Apparently (read this fascinating article in New York Magazine,) John Edwards' image was so well-spun that he began to believe it himself, and his staffers put their professional and personal lives at risk in order to conceal his philandering. Elizabeth Edwards' public persona was also fiction. Even accounting for the horrific tragedies she has lived through, she sounds like a mean-spirited, imperious piece of work.
As with all political families, image and spin were part of their job. Elizabeth Edwards admits that she knew about her husband's affair even while she was campaigning for him, and John has recently admitted paternity of his lover's child, bringing his known total of daughters with crippling daddy issues to three.
Admittedly, I'm setting aside other questions of morality to make a point, but as I watched an interview with one of Tiger Woods' mistresses, I was surprised to feel sorry for her. A single mom, she admitted to making a mistake, and said although she had ended the affair years ago Tiger had continued to pursue her with sob stories about how trapped he felt in his marriage. She had no idea she was one of a baker's dozen of women consoling the golf legend. Now she's got a seven-year old son who has to answer for her mistakes.
Businesses lie all the time. Sometimes it's part of the job. They might lie to save their employees undue stress, or to keep trade secrets or to protect confidentiality. Sometimes they need to change their minds or break contracts for the greater good - just ask Conan and Jay. Sometimes they lie for what seems to be no good reason.
Conan O'Brien signed off the Tonight Show last Friday, and couldn't have been classier. He was hurt and angry that NBC had reneged on their promise to keep his show on the air. He took some potshots, but at the end of the show he thanked NBC for all they had done for him over the past twenty years. His last words were an earnest request - that despite all the pain and betrayal that he had felt over the past few months, he asked that people not use his experience as a reason to be cynical.
Conan O'Brien signed off the Tonight Show last Friday, and couldn't have been classier. He was hurt and angry that NBC had reneged on their promise to keep his show on the air. He took some potshots, but at the end of the show he thanked NBC for all they had done for him over the past twenty years. His last words were an earnest request - that despite all the pain and betrayal that he had felt over the past few months, he asked that people not use his experience as a reason to be cynical.
All I ask of you is one thing: please don't be cynical. I hate cynicism -- it's my least favorite quality and it doesn't lead anywhere.
Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen.
So I'll follow Conan's lead. Now that I've vented my irritation, I'll let it go. And wait for amazing things to happen (after all, he promised.)
And I'll keep that billboard idea in my back pocket. You never know when you'll need to speak the truth, and maybe even post it on the side of a building.
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